Today we’d like to introduce you to Debbie Stokes.
Hi Debbie, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
Growing up as a young child in Baltimore, I had a lot of fear as it related to talking in front of people that I didn’t know and speaking up for myself. So, writing became my sanctuary. It was the one thing I could do that allowed me to express myself freely.
The pen became my instrument and my voice became my power.
Writing gave me the confidence and courage to create words that turned into short stories, lyrics, and poems. And much later in life, I wrote a stage play and a screenplay. After I developed a love for writing and realized it was a gift, my creative juices flowed, and I started doing more of it. However, fear kept me from going to the next level with it. So, from time to time, I would share my writing with people and I saw how they responded to it; they loved it. Pretty soon, I was using my words to inspire others.
Later in my twenties, I put my writing aside and became a mother and a wife. Then, life threw issues at me and writing was the last thing on my mind. I did what was expected of me as a wife and mother. The writing was an afterthought. Twenty years later, in my forties, the passion for writing started calling me back… and I listened. I made a conscious decision to include me in my priorities. Thank God I did! I felt an inner joy flowing back into me… something I was missing and hadn’t felt in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I loved having a family but that’s a different kind of joy, the joy I’m referring to is that inner passion that burns for something outside of yourself. And that’s what writing was for me. Once it came back, I went full speed ahead with it, and I was in my late fifties when I chose to take my writing seriously.
In 2018, I came across a 90-day program that cost $100 and promised to help me to finish a story that I had gotten from a dream I had. And if I finished writing it in 90 days utilizing their suggestions, I would get my $100 back. Lo and behold, I finished! It was a Christian fiction.
One year later, I started a women’s empowerment blog, 3 Women Voices, where I was able to use my gifts and the stories of so many others to inspire people, which also inspired me to push through my fears; and so, I did. Then, I started writing for a lifestyle magazine that told great stories about black people who were doing positive things in their communities, life, business, and entertainment. Once, again, my writing was put on the back burner. Until in 2020 and 2021, when I chose to go back to my thriller book, The Stranger He Knew. And in 2023, I am now a published author. I’ve changed a lot from the 2018 version, but I’m proud of it because it’s better and has more action. And the good part is that it still has the same lessons, and for that I’m thankful.
Can you talk to us about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back, would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
It was not easy because I let fear get in my way. For most of my childhood life, I would sit on the sidelines watching other people do things that made them happy. In school, they played sports, performed on stage in plays, joined extra-curricular after-school programs, were a part of the student government body, and they raised their hands to answer questions in class… something I longed to do but was afraid of. I would cry very easily and my fears held me in a self-created box, and I didn’t know how to get out of it. I wanted so badly to be a part of any of those things, but I was afraid to speak up and open up.
Another struggle I faced was not being able to say NO, which in so many instances, had me being taken advantage of because of my shyness. I was extremely nice and smiled all the time, and my friends would always ask me to do things for them; and I would, even though sometimes I didn’t want to. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t do bad things though, I just did things I didn’t necessarily want to do. And sadly, saying NO even followed me into my adult years, until I got stronger and wiser. Then, I learned to say NO and I say it with no problem now.
Finally, another struggle has been putting me first. I had to learn that I matter, my feelings are valid, and that I’m enough. At one point, I hid in the background, ashamed of being seen and heard. I found myself comparing my looks to others. And in my mind, I wasn’t pretty like them even though I got a lot of attention from boys, men, girls, and women telling me how pretty I was, I didn’t believe the hype. I had convinced myself they were just saying it. That is a hard way to live. Eventually, I had to learn that I am who I am and I’m beautiful just the way I am. Once I stepped into ME, my confidence exploded and my writing went to a new level. Today, I create inspirational and motivational videos based on my experiences and the experiences and lessons I’ve learned from people I’ve interviewed.
Am I fully there yet… no, but I’ve been able to get stronger as I inspire others through my videos and writing because I now understand who I am and whose I am. Thank God I’m not where I used to be; I’m so grateful.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
As of May 31, 2023, I am a newly published author of a thriller book called, The Stranger He Knew. This book has been like a baby for me. I’ve dreamt about it… I had a dream literally about my book and jumped up from my sleep to write it down. I worked it… it may have taken a while to get to publish it, but I never gave up on the idea because I understood that as long as I kept going, it was possible.
And I believe strongly in possibilities. I prayed it… I understand the power of prayer and everything being in alignment, and the power of timing and being ready. I was all of those things. I accomplished it… because I didn’t let the fear stop me. I decided to stand up for myself and I did. Woohoo, I’m an author now! I’m so proud of that accomplishment. I’m working on a sequel to my first book and will possibly write a third one later.
Also, as I stated, I create motivational videos, and you can find them on TikTok @debbie_stokes.
I think what sets me apart from others as an author is that I am a woman telling a story from a man’s perspective, not only one man but two men. The reason I did this is because I wanted to do something unexpected and outside of the box. It’s a solid debut novel that will have you on the edge-of-your-seat and turning the pages for more.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers?
I would love to say… don’t let fear stop you from going after your dreams like it almost did me. Also, be sure to block out the negative voices, and to go around or over the roadblocks. You owe it to yourself to not give up on you. By all means, keep going until you cross the finish line. If I did it, you can too!
With that said, I want to tell you a little about my book. It’s getting great reviews on Amazon! My book, The Stranger He Knew, is about a man named, David, who has it all, Then, he loses everything as his life spirals out of control. This is the story of one man’s will to fight for his life when everything is against him, but what will it cost him and who can he trust?
Imagine it happening to you but it’s not your fault. To make matters worse, everybody you know including family and friends has turned their backs on you. How would you handle it? This book is filled with betrayal, lies, intrigue, suspense, struggles, and a whole lot of action that will have you wondering what’s going to happen next. Get in on this thrill ride… Grab your copy today by clicking the link!
If you want to buy my book, click this link https://www.amazon.com/dp/
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.authordebbiestokes.com/
- Email: authordebbiestokes@gmail.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authordebbiestokes/ (AND) https://www.instagram.com/iamdebbiestokes/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001529346645
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/BookTalkSquad
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@debbie_stokes
