Today we’d like to introduce you to Afia Padonu
Hi Afia, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
When I think of milestones, I often compare it to lacing up my shoes at the starting line of a race and the emotions I feel when I soar through the finish line. Except, I know that the finish line of each race is synonymous with the fact that off course and in life we’re always running with it. We’re always meeting challenges and getting through them as we harmonize the very expression of running; moving one foot in front of the other. My name is Afia Padonu and I’m the founder of Soles for Souls, a 501(c)(3) based in Baltimore that primarily supports women who have experienced pregnancy loss due to miscarriage. We use sound, movement and collaboration as the three pillars of healing. In July of 2022, my husband Demi and I lost our son Kwame due to a temporary illness that I had resulting in an emergency surgery that led to a miscarriage. Soles for Souls identifies miscarriage as “an unsuccessful outcome of something planned or pregnancy loss before 20 weeks.” Through my recovery and discovery of the new me, I have been able to heal in community using the pillars above.
As a former basketball player and as a theme for most non running athletes, running was introduced to me as a means of punishment. In 2017 I made the decision to reclaim my why- my purpose for running. It became clear when navigating mental health challenges that an outlet with few barriers would be necessary and at that time running was a clear answer. I’d wake up, get dressed, lace up my shoes and hit the road. I’d let my feet lead as many steps as necessary to clear my mind and heart for the day, sometimes even twice a day pairing it with yoga in between. I wouldn’t set a goal based on pace or time but to simply move and release. I was privileged to dedicate my early exploration of reclamation to running back home in Silver Spring, Maryland. Reconnecting with places that once held different memories.
Running has taught me that much like life, you can make all the plans, train, write it out, read the books, consult with experts, pray and when you show up- you’ll go through the course and navigate it the best way that you know how while also quickly accepting that you don’t actually know what is going to happen. Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. Somehow you try to convince yourself that you’ll make it and everything will be okay and most times that’s the case and sometimes it’s not that simple. My motto “Run with It” implies all of it; harmonizing the journey that is- whatever your it is, whether you walk, dance, skip, hop, jump, slide, glide, cry, scream and shout or run- we all have something that motivates us.
After the loss of our son, I knew I wanted to dedicate a run to him. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do hard things, something I lost sight of early in my grief. I decided that I would train for the 2022 Baltimore Running Festival in October and do the 5K race. I also convinced my friends and family to do it too- creating a team in honor of our son Kwame- 4K Runners. I crossed that finish line feeling accomplished and also that it was just the beginning. I did the very thing I didn’t believe I could anymore. Early in my recovery, I didn’t think I’d walk again, do or teach yoga or build physical strength to sustain many physical activities. And here I was, on the other side of a finish line that I ran; my way, celebrating a major milestone. Which is also something I quickly learned would be the only thing I got to the other side of in my grief. In the months to come, after sharing our story in October during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, I received an outpouring of stories like mine, an appreciation for shared resources, and the normalization of grief. It became clear to me that Soles for Souls was necessary.
Soles for Souls uses sound as a means of healing through storytelling, therapy, community conversations, sound bath healing, music and more. Studies show that movement through grief, postpartum, preventative health, mental health management and overall health contribute to better health outcomes on many levels. We use walking, running, yoga, dance and more to heal holistically. Lastly, we believe that everyone has someone knowingly or unknowingly in their circle that has experienced pregnancy loss due to many different experiences. Our efforts begin with parent(s) and community members up to healthcare professionals across different practices and varying organizations. We aim to provide services such as family planning item removal, recovery registries, appointment buddies, social events and referrals for services to partners. Soles for Souls is a mirror reflection of community hope.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Nothing in life is ever a smooth road. Soles for Souls was created due to the struggles along the road and filling the void that existed. Losing Kwame made me a mama of 2 heavenly babies. When my first loss occurred in 2020 I had to seek all supportive services and there was only one resource available and there was an eligibility criteria that excludes women who experienced their loss more than a year ago, that was my case. When I had the ability to seek support, I “missed the mark” and had to create my own network including a doula, therapist, church, OB and more. While I’m thankful I have a background in Social Work and know how to look for the support I need, this experience was completely different. Early in my recovery from my allowing myself to be truly vulnerable and to receive support from friends and family. Pregnancy loss is such an isolating experience, it’s filled with an indescribable feeling of shame, guilt, embarrassment, anger and more. My friends and family were coming to visit me in what felt like an infantile state although my dreams during pregnancy created images of community circles with a bouncing baby being the center of attention. My community had a view of me mothering myself, intimately. Instead my circles consisted of reassurances that life would be okay on the other side and I didn’t know that it was possible. While that may read as a first world problem, accepting your friends and family to see you in recovery from such a raw and vulnerable state is no easy feat. My ability to create SFS came from being let go during my early recovery and recognizing the need for more supportive services for women and families affected by pregnancy loss due to miscarriage.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
Mama Kwame.
Wife.
Runner.
Run Coach. #Gamechangers
Yoga Instructor
Sound Healer
Community Liaison
Non Profit Founder
What sets me a part from others is my unique approach to healing in community. Discussing pregnancy loss is taboo topic for people from all different backgrounds. I also identify running/movement as a form of creativity and artistry. I use my yoga and run coach training skills to navigate different life situations. I am most proud of my fortitude to anchor a seemingly positive attitude and approach to life through tribulations.
If we knew you growing up, how would we have described you?
I’ve always been a creative and curious kid. I always wanted to know more, be a part of something bigger than me and participated as a leader in team sports. I grew up the youngest and only girl and often termed myself “a tomboy”, as I think of little of Afia- she was just different. I’ve always been a social person and once used to consider myself a super extrovert although now, way more ambivert introvert leaning. I was always interested in solving issues, big or little and wanted to make true change in my community.
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