Meet Aubrey Shaffner

Today we’d like to introduce you to Aubrey Shaffner.

Hi Aubrey, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
From the outside, my childhood probably seemed quite normal. Though we moved around a lot when I was younger, like most families, we eventually settled in suburbia. My parents gave their all to support my sister and me in our hobbies. Weekends were filled with family time, like Sunday dinners at my grandparents (always at 4:30 pm). But there was so much more beyond the “normal” of recitals and school. Life is vibrant with adventure and opportunities to explore the world around us that would be impossible to summarize in a few short paragraphs.

As a kid, I thought my parents were “serial hobbyists” who just liked trying new things, but as an adult, I realized it was always about seeking and building community. From our small nuclear unit to the extended families we made for ourselves along the way, my parents wanted their kids to be surrounded by people from all walks of life. They wanted us to learn the acceptance and love of all people and hopefully find it in return. We built our own family that DNA didn’t determine. From them, I learned never to underestimate the impact you can have on others and that they can have on you. All people, no matter their circumstances, should be treated with kindness and humanity.

A little later in life, while attending community college, I worked as a server at a small restaurant in the middle of nowhere, Pennsylvania. Unsure of what I wanted to be when I grew up at this point, the Chef suggested I check out the Culinary Institute of America, and it was there I found something I cherished most, community. There’s something really powerful about finding others who are as passionate about something as you are and who can work together to channel that passion into something that positively influences other people’s lives. Unfortunately, over the years, I worked in places that prioritized money and exploited passion, and with time, I lost that sense of community.

During Covid, like most, I was forced into a time of self-reflection. I was furloughed from my job and quarantined in my house for almost 3 months. I thought about my life and what I wanted it to look like. In pursuing career growth and “success,” I had lost track of what had attracted me to the industry in the first place. Though I love the art and science of being a Pastry Chef, I wanted to do more. Now more than ever, my community needed people to speak up about the neglect and abuses that had gone on for so long that we believed were “normal.” That’s always been my favorite part of my career. I have been gifted a life filled with meeting really interesting people and have always been so much better for it, so now I want to do what I can to improve their lives. Whether in a windowless bakeshop or halfway across the world.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
The Luxury/Elite hospitality industry is not for the faint of heart; to make it, you must be willing to sacrifice. The expectation is nothing less than total dedication over everything else: friends, family, physical and mental well-being, etc. Too often, hidden behind the swinging kitchen doors is a toxic, overly masculine, militaristic lifestyle that has driven too many to addiction and other unhealthy habits. Most literally, we even have scars all over our bodies, burning and cutting ourselves so much along the way that half the time, we barely give a second glance, and now, when we do, many people think that servers and chefs are there because they couldn’t do anything else in life “that’s what college students do to get through school” even see us as less than for not wearing suits and working on computers all day but to be the best in this industry you have to be a scientist, an artist, an athlete, an accountant, and so much more.

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar, what can you tell them about what you do?
For the last 10 years, I have been dedicated solely to learning the craft of pastry arts. I am grateful that I became a leading player in the Baltimore dining scene with a lot of hard work. I graduated from the Culinary Institute of America, which is often considered one of the best Culinary Schools in the world. After graduation, I worked for Industry leaders like Four Seasons, Montage International, Andrew Carmellini, and Bryan Voltaggio. My work has been featured in publications such as Baltimore Magazine, The Baltimore Sun, and Forbes, and I even got to try my hand at competing on Food Network in 2020. But despite all this success, when Covid hit, I lost my job. Even as one of the lucky few to find a new position within just a few months, there was no denying all the ugly parts of the industry had floated right to the surface, causing people to burn out fast and leave in massive waves. And in August 2021, I reached full burn-out myself. Like so many others, all the cracks in my foundation from not taking care of myself for the last decade gave way. Since then, I have had to be honest about what I wanted for the next decade of my life; what was most important? Is it to be Best in Baltimore? Is it to be a Famous Chef?

Honestly no. It was my family, my health; It was passions like reading and traveling that made me a better person. I remember not getting a do-over for life when I’m done working. These days you’ll find me teaching pastry skills as a Chef instructor at Baltimore Chef Shop in Hampden. I love sharing my skills directly with others, seeing them succeed and gain confidence as a result. I have prioritized breaking my old toxic habits and figuring out how I can help others do the same. Professionals in this industry deserve to live above poverty levels, eat regular meals (healthy and hot ones are a bonus), and not be driven to addiction, working 12+ hour days/5+ days a week, for weeks on end without a day off. While there will always be a sacrifice in this industry, I aim to limit it to working holidays/weekends and regularly burning yourself; that should be a sacrifice. I have felt inspired to play what role I can in changing the narrative, which is why I have begun recording for my podcast, to help Owners/Employees connect, to share ways they have found to be more equitable, diverse, healthy, etc. so that can inspire others to do the same. I’m connecting with professionals: BOH, FOH, Nutritionists, Therapists, Financial Planners, and more who will help us figure out how we do so with tangible advice listeners can try for themselves. I want to try to improve life for those whose careers are all about caring for others.

Are there any important lessons you’ve learned that you can share with us?
The biggest lesson I have learned so far in my professional career is finding my way to stop overthinking every single thing and trust my gut. In my twenties, doing so, combined with a serious lack of self-confidence, made me try to predict what everyone wanted me to be and think if I just became “that,” I would be successful. However, I struggled to connect with the very people I so desperately wanted to impress the most. Some interpreted my behavior to mean I wasn’t open to feedback; other times, I was either “too nice” or “too direct,” or I made it seem like I “knew too much” or “too little,” and so on, always missing the mark somehow. Even if you miss the mark, people can tell when someone is being genuine, and the right people will notice, appreciate, and embrace it. So for others like me who overthink everything, I recommend you find your way to channel that energy into becoming the version of yourself you want to be rather than who you believe people desire, be your genuine self.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: aubreyds

Image Credits
Personal Photo: Chelsea Bell (not a professional, previous co-worker) Photo of pound cake with pears (photo 7): Aly Leathery (former social media manager for Foreman Wolf) Neither require photo credit and have confirmed usage of photos use for this specific interview