Today, we’d like to introduce you to Katrina Carter.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
I was born in the small town of Pattison, MS, where I lived with my mom, aunts and uncles, big momma and papa. I am the oldest of 3 and the only girl.
My mom was 20 when she had me, so she thought it was best to have my aunt raise me and my little brother at the time while she moved to Washington, DC, to pursue a better life. Well, history repeated itself, and I had my first child at 20 years old as well, and my baby was a girl. I was with her father until 2 months before turning 21. We were together for 3 years in total.
This was my first personal experience with domestic violence, yet I witnessed it at the early age of 13. I moved away from Mississippi and moved to Washington, DC, to live with my mom, but unfortunately, my stepfather and I did not get along, so I and my 1-year-old ended up living in a shelter, DC Village. I turned 21, and my daughter turned 2 in the shelter. This was an experience in itself. I lived with 2 other moms and their children at first, which was eye-opening.
One of my roommates had a little girl, and she was being abused at daycare. She was so stressed because she was pregnant with another baby at the time. My other roommate ended up moving out, and then they moved another lady and her daughter in. Now, when she moved in a couple of weeks later, she decided that it would be ok to have sex while me and my daughter were in the room sleeping. Let’s just say I reported her asap because that was nasty and then just not respectful of me and my 2-year-old.
Well, we moved out of the shelter and into transitional housing, attended school for medical assistance, and then moved into my own apartment. Years later, I met this guy online; he was in a wheelchair, and let me tell you, don’t let that fool you. He was a master manipulator, I ended up being financially abused with him. My relationship after this one was the worst; he was physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive.
We were together for 8 years and even had a son together. With all of this, I decided to tell my story and start my non-profit because someone else could be just like me, going through things in silence.
Can you talk to us about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned? Looking back, would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Healing hasn’t been easy at all.
I was in Walmart shopping and had a full panic attack because I thought my abuser was outside the Walmart, then I went to work and was having suicidal ideations, where I was in group therapy when I then had a panic attack because I thought again my abuser knew where I was working at.
I then realized that there is no way no one else in the world hasn’t experienced what I am. This is a lot to process, and mentally, even though I was out of the relationship, I was mentally stuck in time. I was in survival mode and not functioning at the level I should have been. Learning that there are stages to healing was the biggest part.
Knowing that I had to heal the 4-year-old who was still holding on to abandonment, then the 12-year-old who was holding on to being molested, then the 20-year-old who was a domestic violence victim. This caused me to just want to show up for others the way that no one showed up for me, and just because you leave a relationship safely doesn’t mean that you are mentally gone from the relationship.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar with what you do, what can you tell them about what you do?
In my full-time position, I am a youth career coach. I am also a mental health coach, and I have a non-profit organization that spreads awareness of domestic violence, mental health, and trauma.
I also provide safe spaces to express yourself through merch such as tumblers, t-shirts, affirmation journals, boundary workbooks, and coloring books. I am an author as well of an anthology, “Seeing Herself In Herstory.” With all of these things, what sets me apart is that I have lived through a lot, and I am not someone who can’t understand the struggles.
Is there something surprising that you feel even people who know you might not know about?
Most people don’t know that my brand is what makes me continue to push through. Having an affirmation tumbler for those days that you wake up feeling blahh. I want others to know that just because you keep that smile doesn’t mean you’re not hurting.
Pricing:
- Affirmation Journals are $25
- Coloring Books are $25
- Coaching Sessions are $40 per session
- Tshirts and tumblers are $28
Contact Info:
- Website: incapablebondage.org
- Other: linktr.ee/incapablebondage
