Tenya Eickenberg shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Tenya, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: When was the last time you felt true joy?
The last time I felt true joy was just a few days ago. The community I live in has a closeness that I have loved being a part of for many years. Even when new neighbors join us, they seem to integrate quite well. We have many different personalities and beliefs, yet we all get along so well. A group of us were down at the beach hanging out and chatting around the fire when one of the neighbors came up and handed me a Washington Wizards Christmas Cookie jar. If you have been following my story, you know I love Christmas. I have a Christmas tattoo sleeve that I have started, and my Santa collection is available year-round. The pure joy I felt in that moment was childlike. I was excited and giddy, and that is what pure joy feels like for me. But that wasn’t the only thing that brought me joy that day. The support I received from my friends when I wanted to try out a new “Scream” therapy, I could tell that many of them were not sure they wanted to do it, but they did, in support of my dreams, of what I wanted to do. To have them step into our friendship with that kind of support also brought me such joy.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am a transformational energy healer, self-care coach, and storyteller who believes healing is both sacred and simple. With more than a dozen powerful modalities at my fingertips, ranging from quantum healing to muscle testing to laughter yoga, I help people release what weighs them down so they can finally breathe, live, and shine.
My own path through anxiety, depression, and generational wounds taught me what pills and talk therapy often missed: healing started with the energy I was feeling, and self-care is the frequency with which I had to tune into every single day.
Now, as the founder of Design Your Existence and host of The Metamorphosis Project Podcast, I blend the woo-woo with grounded guidance. Whether I am holding space in a one-on-one session, leading group activations, or writing my upcoming self-care book, I bring compassion, clarity, and a healthy dose of humor. Think pendulum in one hand, flamingo spirit in the other.
My work is about more than “feeling better”; it’s about leaving each session feeling renewed, empowered, and more in tune with their purpose and peace. I am living proof that transformation doesn’t have to be hard; it has to be honest.
And when I’m not guiding others through change, you’ll find me recharging by the bay, laughing with my husband Rob, or camping with my friends and just finding the joy and peace I have created in my life by embodying energy work and self-care.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What relationship most shaped how you see yourself?
The relationships that shaped how I see myself are with my parents, my children, my husband, and energy healing itself. Growing up, my childhood was chaotic. My mom was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was about seven or eight, and I had to navigate her diagnosis without much guidance—my parents were just trying to figure it out themselves. I learned to walk on eggshells, to dissociate, and to shrink my presence. As a result, I carry very few memories from my childhood, and for a long time, I wasn’t sure who I truly was. When I began healing from anxiety and depression in 2020, I realized how much those early relationships had shaped my sense of self. I often felt I wasn’t enough, not a good enough daughter, mother, or friend. Through my children, husband, friends, and through energy healing, I began to take my power back. I started to see myself more clearly: my kindness, my rough edges, and the truth that I am enough.
When did you last change your mind about something important?
For me, it was the meaning of family. I used to believe that family meant standing by someone no matter what, simply because we shared blood. I grew up hearing the saying “Blood is thicker than water,” meaning family relationships are stronger and more important than any others.
But over time, especially in the last 15 years, that belief has shifted. I learned that the full version of the saying is actually “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb,” which suggests that the bonds we choose can be even stronger than the ones we are born into. Through my own experiences, I have found that to be true. I have had friends who have stood by me, supported me, and cheered for me far more than some of my own blood relatives. Maybe that has changed how I define family. To me now, family means the people who show up for you, who see you, support you, and stay through both the easy and the hard conversations. Family is not just who you are born to. It is who chooses to love you through it all.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. What important truth do very few people agree with you on?
That we are all already perfect.
I’ll admit, I don’t even like the word perfect. Who gets to decide what perfect actually means? Who made the rules for what it should look like? Somewhere along the way, we started chasing an illusion that perfection is something outside of us, something we have to earn, prove, or become. But that is not true.
We are who we are, each of us growing, learning, stumbling, and getting back up. When we look at something we create and say, “It’s not perfect,” by whose design are we judging it? Usually, it’s our own unrealistic expectations. We build an image in our minds of what the “perfect version” of ourselves should look like, and then we spend our lives trying to measure up to it. The truth is, is that level doesn’t exist. Perfection isn’t about flawlessness. It’s about wholeness. It’s about embracing every part of who we are, the messy, beautiful, evolving parts included. I believe we are all already perfect, not because we have nothing to work on, but because growth and imperfection are part of what makes us whole.
That doesn’t mean we can’t expand, evolve, or strive to be better. It just means that our worth isn’t waiting on the other side of improvement. It’s already here.
On the flip side, I also think it’s easy to swing too far the other way and believe we have it all figured out or that we are beyond growth. True perfection comes with humility. It’s knowing we’re already enough while staying open to becoming even more of who we are meant to be.
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What are you doing today that won’t pay off for 7–10 years?
I love the idea of living on a shared piece of land surrounded by people who work together to live, grow, and thrive, but that dream feels more out of reach than ever. The reality is that we are expected to save millions of dollars just to survive after the age of 65. What feels backwards is that we spend so much of our energy saving for a future we may not fully get to enjoy, instead of using that same money and time to increase the quality of our lives right now. It seems almost absurd, but that’s the world we live in, one that values preparing for later more than truly living in the present. And I want to live in the present.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.designyourexistence.com
- Instagram: www.instgram.com/designyourexistence
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tenya-eickenberg?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/designyourexistence/
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@designyourexistence
Image Credits
Yasinski Photography
