Today we’d like to introduce you to Petra McGregor.
Hi Petra, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I am Petra and I am no longer Petrified.
I grew up downtown in Baltimore, Maryland.
I went to an all girls private school called Bryn Mawr. When I tell people that last part, they usually laugh. Nowadays, I don’t come across as the all-girls-prep-school type. Nevertheless, I’m grateful for the education I got there, and the friends I made. Two of my best friends from there are still my best friends now.
I didn’t necessarily grow up wanting to be an actor or a writer, and I didn’t really know an “artist” was an option. All I wanted was to know what “it all” means. All I knew was that I wanted to “change the world.” Whatever that means.
Turns out, the world changes whether you want it to or not. That can be really scary, and fear can be paralyzing. But even when you’re stuck, the world keeps turning.
After high school, I left Baltimore for New York City to study at NYU. At that time I still wasn’t committed to pursuing art professionally, but I wanted to incorporate theater into my studies. I went to the Gallatin School of Individualized Studies, with the intention of inventing a degree in some kind of overlap between politics and theater. I thought maybe I’d make my parents happy and go to law school after. To their dismay, I transferred to Tisch after my sophomore year to get a degree in theater.
Before I could start my studies, Covid hit, and shit hit the fan. I experienced my first full blown manic episode and went down a rabbit hole of life threatening behavior and life altering identity loss.
Without the two best friends I mentioned earlier, I may not have made my way out of that.
But I went back to school in the fall, and started my studies at Tisch. Eventually I managed to graduate from NYU with a BFA in Theatre and a double minor in Creative Writing and Irish Studies. Despite the piece of paper I was given, I felt no right of passage into the post-grad world. I was directionless, lonely, full of angst and potential that I was squandering with risky behaviors to cope with the weight of being alive. I was hurting all of the people I love, and did not love myself enough to feel pain.
I moved to Dublin, Ireland, trying to run away from the problems of my own making at home, just to make more problems in a different place. I am not proud of the choices I made there, and certainly the way that I hurt people by making those choices. Nevertheless, I loved living in Dublin, and thought I was having a lot of fun. I was writing daily, taking acting classes, meeting so many talented and beautiful people with fascinating stories to tell. I volunteered at the Dublin Fringe Festival, performed with local theater companies, and signed with both a modeling agency and a talent agency. I thought I was on an unlikely come-up in a foreign country. I was unaware that I was coming to the end of a dark chapter in my own story, and a pivotal moment in my recovery.
We believe the stories we tell ourselves. They define who we are and how we see this ever changing world. But lucky for us, at least lucky for me, the story can change too.
Through a series of grandiose and gnarly events, I ended up back in Baltimore, with my parents, and on the way to the psych ward. The story could’ve ended abruptly and tragically, but thanks to them, I got to go to rehab. From my rock bottom, the real “growing up” began.
At 24, I thought getting sober would ruin my life. But it didn’t. By the grace of god, the strength of desperation, and a whole lot of love from a supportive community, the bedrock was formed, and the story changed. Petra means rock, and I had to grow into that name.
So I grew up to be an artist, and I’m still figuring out what that means. I’m an actor and a writer. I like telling stories. What I have is a collection of experiences that have become a collection of stories. And now I get to spend my time telling them, writing them, using them to choose creation instead of destruction.
I live in New York City, and proudly tell everyone I meet that I’m from Baltimore, Maryland. I work as an actor, a writer, sometimes a producer, sometimes a model, and if I’m lucky, I’ll get to keep growing as an artist forever.
I have never been a fan of earnestness, but maybe that’s because the truth is scary, and fear can be paralyzing. I was stuck for a long time as an outsider to my own life. But I’ve since opened myself up to inspiration, despite groaning through the growing pains. That changed my world, so maybe I’m exactly where I wanted to be when I grew up.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
The bumps in my road have been massive.
My addiction to drugs and alcohol landed me in the psych unit at Johns Hopkins Hospital on the verge of death. I was 24 years old and so sick that I didn’t want to live. Thankfully, that wasn’t my choice, and I survived. It’s easy to say that was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
But to stay alive, I had to get sober, and stay sober. At the time that sounded impossible, and like the worst thing that could ever happen to me. In retrospect, everything that led up to that fateful night in the hospital was so much worse. The way I had been living was killing me, even though I professed every night that I was having the time of my life.
I went to rehab for a month, and sober living for 4 months, and now 2 years and 4 months sober, I am alive and well in New York City, the healthiest I’ve ever been.
At first I thought I could never act again. But they say getting sober is like learning how to walk again. So I guess I had to walk before I could act. My relationship to my body has grown so much stronger, and recovery has given me the ability to be present in every moment. I used to rely solely on my personality, spontaneity and emotional volatility to convey the inner life of the characters I played. Now, with agency over my body, I can make clear choices, with self awareness, I am able to gauge my emotional reactions, instead of letting it all take over me and lose control. My recovery is about growing as a human being to be the best version of myself and let go of the behaviors that were preventing me from being ME. With new guiding principles and a spiritual commitment to them, I am able to do that work. And the work I do on myself as a person, is work I do as an artist, because that’s what I am. Only when I was able to stabilize within was I able to create something magical to give away. And that’s what art is, it’s magic.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I mostly act in indie films, but I also do theater and even recently a sketch comedy show. I always love the stage, but my career ambitions lean towards film and television.
As a writer I get to make some of my own work, which is deeply rewarding.
I just started a YouTube channel as a growing portfolio of monologues and shorts I’ve written and performed. You can check that out at https://www.youtube.com/@Petrafied-99
I’m also in development of a short film based in Baltimore with a good friend of mine who went to Baltimore School for the Arts. We’re hoping to start shooting late summer or early fall.
One of my biggest goals is to produce a feature film I’ve been working on called WASTED, a semi-autobiographical coming of age film about my journey as a young actress through addiction and recovery. The script for the proof of concept is ready to go, and I hope to raise enough money to shoot it in the coming year.
In the meantime, I’m auditioning! As I don’t have representation right now, all of my work comes from self submissions or word of mouth. It can be challenging day to day, and this industry can feel like a never ending job hunt where applications are sent out to ether, never to return. But every time I’m on set, I get a giddy feeling in my chest, this magical flutter in my soul, and think, without fail, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.
Networking and finding a mentor can have such a positive impact on one’s life and career. Any advice?
Above all else, you want a mentor who cares about you and pushes you to grow. This doesn’t have anything to do with your career as an artist, or any job, or someone who will get you into any rooms. This is about taking care of yourself and committing to honesty, and practicing vulnerability and asking for help. We cannot create alone.
When it comes to industry related resources, I would suggest finding classes with a teacher you really trust and philosophy that inspires you, and show up to that class every week. I take a writing class on Sunday and an acting class on Monday to bookend my weeks. That ensures I will be writing and acting every week, regardless of the gigs I have lined up…or don’t. The friends I’ve made in these classes are ambitious and talented artists whom I love and respect. They inspire me to keep the creative embers burning, and I’ve been able to make work with them too! Which brings me to my next point, make things with your friends. It’s time consuming, and you won’t make money from it, but you can do it very cheaply and tell the stories you believe need telling. You need to have examples of your work and be willing to show them to the entire world in order to get gigs, so start with the stuff that’s right in front of you!
Audition, Audition, Audition! I’m self submitting for everything right now, and it’s grueling. But it’s an unavoidable part of the job, and necessary if you want to be cast so…just do it. Practice the skill of doing self tapes every time you get one, even if you don’t really want the gig. It’s a skill you need to drill, like going to the gym. Eventually, it becomes routine and doesn’t hurt every time you do it. And once you send it out, forget about it. It’s normal to never hear back, so allow for that to be normal, instead of feeling rejected.
Finally, crystalize the questions you have and specific feedback you want. No one knows how to answer the general question “What should I do?” Believe me, it’s easy to get lost in all of this and I want to shout that question from the rooftops sometimes. But if you are going to someone for advice or for a favor, make sure you know what you’re asking for and what you hope to gain. It’s a sign of respect to ask people what they think of your work, because it means you value their opinion. So don’t be afraid to come up with a question and ask it.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.petramcgregor.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/petrafied99
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/petra-mcgregor
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Petrafied-99
- Other: https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/1212158990
