We’re looking forward to introducing you to Donna Leigh Wecker. Check out our conversation below.
Hi Donna Leigh, thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: What’s more important to you—intelligence, energy, or integrity?
Well, there are many different kinds of intelligence and we only need so much do to what we are uniquely gifted to do. However, integrity is something more unique. It is a virtue and virtues are built choice by choice. In our industry, integrity is like a rare gem. It is what we hope to refine in ourselves and in our team.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hello! I’m Donna. Some people call me, “Mrs. Chef”. When folks say to me, “So, you’re the owner’s wife,” I get to smile and let them know I’m one of the owners. When we started our restaurant/catering venue, I was 7 months pregnant with our third. We took on a 12 acre historic property that was in bad disrepair. We had sold our house and moved onto the property. Unbeknownst to us, the house didn’t have working sewage. Chamber pots and spot-a-pots got me through. I bathed my kids in the kitchen sink until we had plumbing throughout the house which dates to 1830. For many years, I mostly took care of my family helping where I could and supporting my husband, our executive chef, with his 100 hour work week. Our son had significant medical problems which complicated being business owners, but we always did our best to work through every challenge. I went back to school to finish two degrees and honestly, enjoyed the opportunity to teach at the university where I finished for 6 years. Then, my husband really needed me to hop on board in a more substantial manner. He cajoled me back by telling me there would be more flexibility in my schedule. I had begun competing in ballroom dancing. The biggest competition in that world is in England in May, so my teaching schedule wouldn’t have permitted that opportunity. I competed at Blackpool twice since a second place wasn’t quite good enough and do enjoy the satisfaction of a first place for the effort in returning. Since that big time, I’ve become more and more involved with the day to day and general management of the business. I kid that my logic and critical thinking class at school was a no brainer for me…. which is a good thing because my education is not in hospitality or restaurant management, but it all has to make sense, I’ve done a lot of behind the scenes organizing of spaces and equipment because flow is of upmost importance. It’s a good thing I’m tough and love to problem solve. I also love creating beautiful spaces. Once fully entrenched, I felt it important to challenge our current business model and do some needed re-branding. All this and we are on the other side of Covid while fully coming into our own, I tell our guests, “Like a vintage wine, we just keep getting better!”
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
So, I met my husband at 17, was engaged at 18, married at 19, became a mom at 20 and was very happy in those roles. Besides being a wife and mom, I was a youth leader in our church, taught Sunday school, and had a lay counseling certificate. There were lots of things I did… but it was not until I finished my undergraduate and a Master’s degree at 42 and taught my first university class that I said to myself in an amazed tone–“they took me seriously!” I guess I’d never really felt like anyone had completely taken me seriously as a woman standing on my own. It was a great feeling. I’m sure this also helped me to have more and more confidence in and of myself for many important decision making challenges as a business owner. Life is certainly a journey!
What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
It was never a question that I wanted to be a mom. My first child is my only daughter. After her, my husband and I had two pregnancies which ended in stillbirth and one little boy who lived 6 hours. Our medical team slowly figured out how to help us have a successful pregnancy and then to find out that I carry a rare genetic disease that we pass on to boys. We helped to name that auto-immune disease along with our son, Philip, who lived most of his almost four years at Johns Hopkins Hospital. More recently, we lost our last son who also shared this disease but was able to have a bone marrow transplant at the age of 9. He died last January at 33. The wounds of losing children are both raw and cyclical. I’ve always been more of a “glass half full” kind of person, but have also come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter how you see the glass. It can be refilled. Seeking out times of meditation along with friends and family to hold me when I need it most, both my husband and myself continue to do our best to be there for each other. We grieve differently, but I’ve grown to appreciate his frailties and his fearless strengths. He has always been there for me. Each day is a challenge. Grace is my best friend.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. What important truth do very few people agree with you on?
So I’ve found that more and more people have adopted this belief that they must rid themselves of people around them with negative energy. There is some truth to this… But…
Recently a FB friend posted this quote from Kahlil Gibran:
Do not love half lovers
Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life
and do not die a half death.
The poem does continue for another few additional stanzas…
Perhaps I’m shaded (not jaded) by a different perspective. Who choses to be half a friend? Who choses to be half talented? I think of the island of misfit toys. I think of those who struggle so hard but can never be successful in the world’s eyes. Those who become jaded because of a path that continues to trip them up.
I was the one who tried to find the person in the lunch room who was alone. I did my best to try to draw them out. Once you got to know them, they were more interesting than the popular kids. I believe strongly that our schools should not have “gifted and talented” programs for twenty percent of our children, but teachers who help each child understand their unique gifts and talents.
Perhaps this is the road less travelled. It is the one I prefer. Sorry Kahlil… I beg to differ!
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What will you regret not doing?
I have just one tattoo that was inspired by the Blackpool Pro-Am Ballroom competition won in 2018. In international style ballroom I take my partners hand with my right and stretch my left arm until we are joined in position. Then I rest my left arm on my partners bicep. The inscription on my left arm that we then shared was the message “keep reaching” along with the rose I won at that prestigious competition. We shared the message but it is one I try to live every day by not putting limits on what is possible. That said, and as a “late bloomer” who truly believes in the plasticity of the adult brain, I would regret just treading water.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.elkridgefurnaceinn.com
- Instagram: @elkridgefurnaceinn
- Linkedin: Donna Wecker
- Facebook: @elkridgefurnaceinn
Image Credits
in house pic
