Meet Vivienne Rose

Today we’d like to introduce you to Vivienne Rose. 

Hi Vivienne, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I have too many stories! I will be that old woman in a cafe or living room, regaling friends and family with memories from my life. One that wouldn’t have been so rich, if not for a subtle, but profound shift in me. 

When I lose weight. 

That was my mantra. This magic, transformative weight loss that would make me a hot girl, NOT the fat friend, factored in, able to access the pretty clothing-worthy. 

I spent so much time pining for it, but no matter what I did, the weight loss really didn’t happen. My mom tried punishments and withholding things, diets starting at 10 years old. Guys in school told me they had dreams about dating me, and in it, I was skinny, always. I got told a bazillion times how beautiful I would be if I lost weight. Of course, there was also bullying. 

All this created shame. Also, it put entirely too much emphasis on attraction being validation. The first half of my life was hiding and apologizing. I put my life on hold. 

For the first 30 years of my existence, I had been made to think the fat was my fault. I did inherently fat girl things, and if I just stopped fat girling, I’d lose weight. 

I got tired of that! 

It was about 12 years ago, this shift. My desire to do the things I dreamed overpowered my low self-esteem. I became less concerned about what others were thinking because I saw that everyone was agonizing over some insecurity. I was, for that fleeting bully moment, their outlet, as they called me Whale, or held on as I walked by and made the earth shake. It’s not okay, but now I see their pain, instead of feeling hurt. 

I backpacked for 10 months: this was my first real act of stepping out of the fat girl penalty box. My appearance got such mixed reception. In front of the Coliseum, 2 Asian tourists were taking pictures of me instead of the ancient wonder. In Paris, I felt like a goddess. In a bazaar in Delhi, boys giggled and pointed, muttering the word ‘fat’, while in Mykonos, a big Greek man looked at me, practically drooling on his overalls! Scottish men didn’t care either way. I was practically revered in Egypt and Dubai. In front of a museum in Northern Germany, a woman scoffed at me. A Bulgarian man stopped in the streets of Sofia to clap and say, “Brava!” Somehow it was helpful to know at least a healthy cross-section of the world considered me attractive, even if I was a freak show to others. 

When I returned home from my trip, having walked and walked, hiked steep mountains through a dozen countries, and eaten on a backpacker budget, the pounds hadn’t dropped. I’d hit all these checkpoints that were supposed to be the magic weight-loss moments, and I was still fat. It occurred to me that maybe, just maybe there were other factors in play. 

I started wanting more things, like pretty clothes, and dating men I chose, rather than settling for what chose me. I wanted to dare to feel sexy, and be increasingly more me. I wanted to have strong opinions and a voice! I knew I’d made massive improvements when a girl walked up to me at a party to say, “Wow! Your butt is enormous!” Old me would have crumbled right before her eyes. My butt is enormous, and the sky is blue. She was actually in awe! My proportions aside, I wanted people to realize I was just normal. 

So, I started my Instagram. Representing big bodies in motion, I hoped to flood the internet with this big girl doing everyday things. I wanted to show that I was active. I wanted to eradicate this idea that fat is sitting on the couch, double fisting burgers, and thin is eating salads on a treadmill. Fat people move, exercise, have hobbies, and eat. I wanted other bigger bodies to see me outwardly participating in the world of fashion, self-love, empowerment, and travel, among other things. Most importantly, I shared my vulnerable moments in captions, hoping it would a) resonate, and b) show them they were not alone. 

I’ve seen what poor self-image does. Humans blessed with infinite potential lock it away in a small box because someone else made them feel less for their size, color, social status, religion. It’s a tragic waste of a magnificent blessing. 

Creativity is in my nature, and I started using myself as the muse. Images of my fat body daring to feel elegant, graceful, bare, and bold morphed into feeling sexy as an act of defiance! The layers and layers of fatphobia that affect my life continue to fall away, layers I didn’t even know I had! 

Here I am now, still breaking away prejudice, trusting myself, connecting with others, traveling for photoshoots, fighting for my rights as a human, standing up for myself as a woman, a fat person, a 43-year-old, and generally being unafraid to ask for the things I need. I’m discovering new opportunities I didn’t even know were available to me! I’m determined never to play small again. My Instagram bio says, “ample me, taking the space I need.” 

I intend to do just that. 

I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle-free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
I have been my biggest obstacle, fighting the years of embedded fatphobia and shame. 

Ignorance and misinformation continue to be hurdles for me, as they even impact my access to proper health care. 

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I’m known for being fat out loud. I’m an influencer. 

My large body makes me stick out no matter where I go. I’m proud that I learned the hack. You tell people how to treat you. They’ll only see your weight for a few minutes, or longer if you’re physically sitting on them. Otherwise, the personality within takes over, and you become to them something multidimensional! 

I’m proud that I threw off the care for others’ opinions, and started celebrating all that is me. I sing, do voice work, play saxophone, love to read, can comfortably move throughout the globe at least knowing how to be polite in multiple languages. 

I’m proud that I’ve been on the cover of a French magazine as something beautiful, and featured in articles based in the US and internationally. I’ve been invited to a TV show and participated in 2 documentaries, as well as a book for a university in Indiana. 

Since I am my brand, it’s an organic business, continuing to shoot photos and videos in the name of body positivity. I do my internal work through writing and being the subject in photoshoots, infiltrating a thin-obsessed society with images of a fat person in the state of normal existence. 

If you live in fear of opinions, you squander your gifts. I’m beginning to explore mine. I use my travels, my passion for languages, music, arts, my experience with different cultures to influence the visual art I want to create. 

I’ve only just begun. 

Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?
Depending on who you talk to, I either have very nervous, overworked guardian angels (luck?), or my drive to inspire confidence in myself and others has created the opportunities I’ve had. Maybe there’s an intersection of the two. 

I honestly have a far more philosophical idea of what Luck is. 

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @theviviennerose
• Twitter: BBWVivienneRose

Image Credits
@rob_van_pinxteren
@mk.creative.studio
@four_bee_photography