Today we’d like to introduce you to Lauren Thompson.
Hi Lauren, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
Through the years I have worn many hats – daughter, sister, friend, student, artist, wife, researcher, doula, teacher. The one that continues to impact my life the most is mother.
Back in 2013, I was a young mom trying to keep my head above water. I was struggling with undiagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, suicidal ideation, and a prior experience of sexual violence. I wasn’t sleeping well, and intrusive thoughts stole joy and peace from me daily. I felt ill-equipped to care for my child in the way she deserved. I felt ashamed of the intrusive images and thoughts I was having. I felt I couldn’t be a positive contributor to my daughter’s or my partner’s life.
Self-blame and self-responsibility was what I knew how to do. Let me take on all the burden and all the guilt. That way, when I leave this Earth, it will make everyone’s lives better. During that time, those thoughts made sense to me. In fact, they seemed like the right thing to do, the noble thing to do.
That was a dark time in my life. My brain and body were sick.
Over a decade later – at the age of 37 and a mother to an 8, 11, and 13 year old – my brain and body still get sick when I reach a low or depressive period, however, I am now less fearful of these lows. I feel gratitude every day that I didn’t act on my thoughts to take my own life. I am thankful for a diagnosis that helps me better understand my brain and body, and new tools in my life that help me maintain my health, joy, ease, and peace.
Today, I get the incredible privilege to give back to other parents in my community by walking alongside them, and hopefully make their early parenting road a little less bumpy.
The systems in our communities, in Maryland, and in our country have been failing us as parents. There’s no mandated family leave policies, childcare is astronomical in cost, and most parents who give birth are seen by their doctor once, if they’re lucky, in the year postpartum. Most parents don’t have choice when it comes to their birth preferences or providers, either, starting them off on less than ideal footing when becoming a parent.
Compared to other nations, we are failing folks in this critical time in their lives.
My doula, lactation, and mental health practice grew out of those needs, needs and hardships that I myself faced when I became a parent. I work in community to meet parents where they are and provide warm, nonjudgemental, hands-on support and education. Parents are capable, yet they remain mostly isolated and riddled with decision fatigue during the postpartum time. In the age of social media, it’s hard to make real-life connections with other parents who are going through similar experiences or to know what information to trust. It helps to have helpers in our communities who are focused on the wellbeing of the parent as parents are focused on the wellbeing of their little ones.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Are any of the roads smooth? No, nothing about the journey was straight forward or smooth.
I stumbled a ton, I didn’t know the right directions, I tried some side quests that didn’t work out. I doubted myself throughout the years. I doubted my knowledge, my skills, my lived experience, my culture, my family history, my biases, my intentions, my actions.
Yet, all of the detours along the way ultimately pointed towards the destination, even when I lost hope or couldn’t see where that destination was. In the end, I found out I could trust myself and the intuitions that were leading me towards achieving my hopes and dreams, and those for my community.
As you know, we’re big fans of 4th Trimester Family LLC (for profit) / Community After Birth (nonprofit). For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about the brand?
4th Trimester Family LLC
I specialize in perinatal mental health and work in homes as a doula and lactation counselor. I also offer support for more complicated mental health cases, military-affiliated parents, or those with access to fewer resources who are looking for support before, during, and after pregnancy and childbirth.
Community After Birth (nonprofit)
I co-founded Community After Birth alongside Shannon Abdelghani with a mission to close gaps in postpartum care and support. We operate out of Anne Arundel county providing postpartum doula support to military families, as well as those with mental health challenges. This support is funded through grants and grassroots donations, allowing the families to receive high-quality support at no cost to them.
Are there any books, apps, podcasts or blogs that help you do your best?
Books:
– The Book of Alchemy: A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life by Suleika Jaouad
– Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers by Karen Kleiman
– Recovery: The Lost Art of Convalescence by Gavin Francis
– Caste: The Origins of our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson
– The Kids are All Right: Parenting with Confidence in an Uncertain World by Gabrielle Stanley Blair
– Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think about Abortion by Gabrielle Stanley Blair
– Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Podcasts:
– The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story by Nikole Hannah-Jones
– We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle, Abby Wamback, Amanda Doyle
– Ologies with Alie Ward
– Dare to Lead with Brene Brown
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.4thtrimesterfamily.com
- Instagram: @laurendoulas
