Today, we’d like to introduce you to Darria Boyd.
Hi Darria, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for sharing your story with us – to start, maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers.
What do you do when your envisioned life doesn’t match the reality you are experiencing? “Little did I know that I would embark on a journey that could easily suffocate me, yet it challenged my resilience.” This journey was AUTISM, and it gave me two gut punches. These gut punches are my unique and amazing autistic children, known as THE LUV BUCKETS!
Becoming a parent to two autistic children is where I truly began to discover my purpose and set the course for where I am headed. I am a fabulous wife, author, business owner, committee chair, and advocate. This autism journey has brought out and elevated skill sets that I never knew I had and reshaped a lot of perspectives of what I considered LIFE.
Having an amazing and supportive husband on this journey has also been a vital piece of how I can “BREATHE” and work towards reaching my goals, enabling me to be the person I need to be to navigate this journey effectively. He values all my sacrifices and consistently motivates me with encouraging words like, “Your time is coming,” “You are going to bounce back and have an even bigger impact on people’s lives,” and “It’s your time now, baby love. He still makes me laugh and smile!”
As a former Facility Management Company business owner, I was already conditioned to understand the importance of impacting people’s lives. Being a CEO and BOSS is a huge responsibility that provides jobs and financial opportunities for families to sustain their livelihoods.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Indeed, the journey of parenting and caring for my two special needs Luv buckets has been far from smooth. Each day presents its challenges and obstacles, demanding resilience, grit, grind, perseverance, and unwavering determination to overcome mental and emotional strains.
Imagine waking up each day feeling the weight of time passing by, burdened by the complexities of autism and the ever-growing list of responsibilities as the caregiver to two special needs children. You see the path to your aspirations stretching out before you, tantalizingly close yet out of reach. When you’re a competitor, finding yourself in that headspace day after day is incredibly frustrating and challenging.
You’re constantly juggling borrowed sleep, rushing to appointments and therapies, striving to carve out even a moment for yourself, all while eagerly awaiting the chance to rediscover and define the person you aspire to be.
Adding another layer of challenges was having a unique daughter who is non-speaking with a condition called Apraxia. A neurological disorder that affects the brain pathways involved in planning the sequence of movements involved in producing speech. Figuring out how to connect and communicate with her and finding the best communication pathway for her to navigate the world became a whole mental and emotional task.
Witnessing your daughter experience meltdowns due to her inability to express herself and communicate was heartbreaking. You could see the frustration on her face, and the pleading look in her eyes seemed to cry out, “Please help me break free from this communication (conundrum). I want to express myself and ask for things, but the connection from my brain to my mouth doesn’t allow me to.
To compound the challenges, discover that your second child is also autistic. What a mind-boggling experience. It feels like a never-ending cycle, managing the demands of a household where both children, who are not meeting developmental milestones that’s expected and managing meltdowns, tantrums, and impulsivity is exhausting.
A significant challenge I faced was putting my career aspirations on hold to prioritize being the fully present parent my children needed me to be. This sacrifice was necessary to ensure my children received the support and guidance they needed to thrive. It allowed me to focus on helping them strive to reach their potential while laying the foundation for me to eventually pursue my goals again.
I can truly say it’s not me. I thank GOD daily for giving me the strength to get through each day. Also, I respected the process of what I needed to do and had to do for me to obtain what I wanted out of my life. First, accepting my two autistic LUV BUCKETS for who they are embracing their individuality, and making sure they are happy and progressing.
In addition, I always tell myself that I am more than a caregiver to my two children, whom I affectionately call “The LUV BUCKETS.” I am preparing my mind because when it’s time for me to jump on that parallel road, I will be ready to pursue my goals about me and my self-worth. I’ve accepted that my life will always involve competing with autism while striving to find harmony with my aspirations. Everyone has their perception of self-worth, and those who truly know me understand that mine is high. LOL! That’s why I say autism is my biggest competitor but not a destroyer.
Life itself is full of difficulties. It’s just that everyone’s difficulties are different, and how you respond to life challenges plays a major role in your happiness and success in life. As a parent and knowing that my kids and husband depend on me, I’ve learned to keep grinding because all you are doing is getting yourself in shape mentally and spiritually to withstand the challenges and difficult circumstances that will confront you in life.
Also, humbling yourself and being open to creating a positive support network that can help you navigate through the toughest of times. Receiving help from family, friends, teachers, therapists, etc., means your well-being is vital for surviving the journey. That’s the key: protecting yourself to be amongst good, genuine people who can be relatable, caring, and respect your journey. You cannot survive navigating the special needs journey without support, or it will destroy your mental, spirit, and physical well-being. It will eat you alive.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I am very excited to build the buzz of My first book, ‘It Just Got Real: 9 ½ Tips on How to Breathe Raising Children with Autism. It’s a table talk book that serves as a resource for parents and caregivers of our neurodivergent population and parents in our neurotypical population. Any parent can benefit from the book.” Also, I believe our special needs population deserves a seat at the table. Like everyone else, we should have the same respect to talk about our loved ones with special needs.
It’s also the cornerstone of building my brand, Darria Boyd-“The Real Deal.” I’m passionate about motivating people to spread their wings and reach their fullest potential. Being an instrument or resource for individuals to thrive in situations where they’re often overlooked due to the unique challenges of navigating the special needs journey is truly inspirational to me. I’m also thrilled to announce the upcoming launch of Autism in these Streetz podcasts. This podcast is special because it features my husband and me authentically navigating the ups and downs of our journey with autism, just like everyone else. We will keep it real, informative, fun, and empowering.”
I am also the Co-founder of the non-profit organization The Autism Grind, Inc. (TAG). TAG is dedicated to fostering interest in autism, raising awareness, and educating communities about the autism spectrum. Our goal is to encourage communities to create inclusive and empowering environments for autistic individuals and their families.
Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?
I don’t believe in luck. I believe that if something is meant to be, it will happen. We are each dealt a hand in life, and while we have limited control over our choices, our circumstances often play a significant role.
We can choose to work hard, persevere, or give up. We can decide to complain or take action to change the narrative of a situation. Ultimately, we find ourselves in various situations, but how we navigate and respond within those situations is entirely up to us. So, my key lesson learned is to keep grinding, stay mentally and spiritually strong in the face of difficulties, and strive to maintain a positive attitude.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.darriaboyd.com
- Instagram: @dboyd.itjustgotreal
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheAutismGrind
- Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/DarriaBoyd
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@autismindeezstreets6977
- Other: Instagram- @theautismgrind
Image Credits
Art Trends, LLC Photography
